COSTUME PARTIES

I really do not like dress up parties primarily because I like to look cute and I want the option to leave a party and go someplace better if its boring.  But when I do have to go, I either don't dress up and say that I have a work thing with my husband afterwards or, I find a way to dress up like a hooker or Amy Winehouse because then I can just wear my normal clothes.

I am going to a fun party tomorrow (I can't say whose it is because then all these freaky insecure women will be upset that they weren't invited) but the theme is BLACKOUT - so you wear all black and funky shoes.  So I will be wearing a kickass new black dress that I have and check out the shoes - love 'em.

A great idea for halloween parties:  just clip some spider pins on some shoes or dangle some from a necklace,  do temporary skull tatoos on your arm and then wear a cute black dress.  All the women in Flintstone costumes will be super pissed at you but just tell them to look in the mirror.

Happy Halloween - I hope you get some great treats.

FALL TREND ALERT

Here's MY take on Fall 2011 and remember just because it's a trend doesn't mean its cute (at all)

TREND #1-the "MIDI" skirt

It’s an A-Line skirt that hits at the most awful part of your calf... I say do a pencil skirt instead

or just stick to dresses - they are soooo easy.

TREND #2-"MAD MEN"

I'm not a fan of the 1960's look for women (or all the house work they had to do back then) but I am a fan of day drinking-so skip the unflattering dress made of a floral curtain and have a martini.

TREND #3-COLOR BLOCKING and MIXING PATTERNS

so a bright pink pair of pants with an orange sweater and a yellow blouse or a stripe skirt with a floral top-that is TRYING WAY TO HARD - like the J Crew catalog - are you really going to wear that many layers? I'd get a cute yellow bag or a great color blocked shoe and call it a day.

TREND #4-FUR

LOVE IT-I can't get enough. I totally get that people don't want real fur because it's mean so get faux fur (those are the same people who are wearing leather shoes and belts-

where did they come from the leather tree?)

TREND #5-LEATHER

LOVE IT MORE-I'm in the process of designing a leather line which should be out of manufacturing as soon as hell freezes over (and you thought that the Northfield Starbucks was SLOW...)

TREND #6-ANIMAL PRINT

What a shock-I've been doing this for 10 years and it’s been a trend every fall (and some Springs too)

so your investment here seems to be safe

(yet way over done)

My LOVES... wide leg trousers, sweater leggings or any leggings-wear them instead of wearing

workout clothes all day (pet peeve), my beloved Jane Tall Cuff boot from FRYE (buying another color this season) and capes-check out my new line of capes –

gotta have one.

I am done with -one shoulder anything, colored denim (don't please unless you are a

Victoria Secret model or if it's Halloween), jeggings (as my daughter's gym teacher calls them "jeanos")

BLACK and BLUE

So my husband comes in from work the other day and I take one look at his outfit and pray that he had a costume party at work that day (Investment Bankers tend to do fun things like that)
No unfortunately they did not and he is sure that I told him that I like black suit pants with a navy blue suit coat!  Now I say a lot of crazy shit when I'm drinking but I would not say that.  Seriously- looks like a near miss to me as if you got dressed in the dark (kind of like when you put your shirt on inside out and do the walk of shame walk home from the fraternity the next morning)

Then it dawns on me that he was listening to me tell a client that I love the black and navy combo on a dress that I sold her.  So the fashionista hubbie decides to do a little magic in his own (shoebox sized) closet and take a black suit and a navy suit and mix and match for some fun new looks!

I do love black and navy together.  Try a black dress with a navy cashmere cardigan - love it.

RV FASHION WEEK

Fashions in the RV camp can vary from extremely ugly to what the fuck are you thinking.  Honestly, just because we are living like animals...

Denim seems to be the "it" thing.  Shorts and capris in the most unflattering lengths - but who cares we're on vacation in an RV - do I really care if I look fat?

My favorite are the "denim warriors" (a term I stole from my friend, Victoria Freda)  This is the person who wears all denim (see pic far left)  denim top and denim pants - its a great look and it matches! And also, men in knee length jean shorts - I may lose it

The shoes are really something.  What did these people do before crocs?  And the COLORS - wow never knew that plastic could be so vibrant.  Top left pic is my foot (you'll notice by my nice french manicure) and thats my new "sandal" with velcro straps - these babies can get wet and are super comfy!  I have not actually worn them and I am hoping that I won't have to.  I saved the receipt so I could return them but that would mean another trip to REI and honestly, I'd rather just keep them to avoid that tree hugging experience again.

Hair in the RV... lots of perms with those big claw clips.  And then there's that short sporty hair that says, I'm an outdoor girl and I can kick your ass with my strappy velcro sandal!

So TODAY Clark has decided that we will go GOLFING.  Picture us pulling up to "the nicest golf course in... " (wherever we are)  in our RV and in our shorts, tees and gym shoes and yes we are going to RENT golf clubs....

SIDE NOTE ABOUT FASHION:
1. I did see ONE girl in a really cute outfit with these cute shoes on (that I actually own) NOW I am so pissed that I didn't bring them because they are perfect and I just didn't think of it.
2. I found an amazing pair of earrings - that I love (seriously) in the KOA trading post (I think "trading post" means "store" in Indian by the way.  I tried to trade my sandals for the earrings but I had to pay so I told them that the name was really misleading and they should change it to store (or boutique to boost their image)

Off to play - FORE!

MT. RUSHMORE

Mt. Rushmore - Check - can we go home now?  Really what could be more exciting than this?

So, here's what people do out here in whatever state we are in.  They drive around (if they are extremely lucky in an RV) Take about 100 pictures in front of the attraction and then race to the gift shop and try to see how many trinkets they can find with their name on it - its exciting!  If you have an unusual name you are screwed (so you get the Mt. Rushmore shot glass) then you have to decide - do I get the mini license plate  - I guess for your Barbie Car or a wooden switch blade that is really a comb??? (If we are really in a  recession - maybe you should buy a pair of shoes or baby food???)

Then everyone hurries to the RV camp to secure their spot.  This one (according to our KOA guide) is the 2nd largest in the nation and has lots to do - I quote " dog walk, stage, basketball, bike shack (not sure if they have bikes?) and here are the biggies - fiddle sticks AND gold panning.  I am definitely bring home some gold!!!  When we pulled in Gray said excitedly this place is Hillbilly Heaven!!!!  And that sums it up.

If you saw RV - remember when the family was avoiding the other families who were trying to make friends with them?  Thats us.  Clark and I kept to ourselves at our picnic table (with no cute plastic table cloth) fixed our plate of crackers and cheese and wine that I made him drive 20 miles for (all they had here at the RV "Trading Post" is the"local wine" - which is????? made of????? by whom?????

Today - its Crazy horse and some bear park - just when I thought I'd seen it all...

Next blog I will reporting on RV FASHION WEEK - stay tuned for some interesting looks.

THE MORNING AFTER

So 2 ambien, 2 bottles of wine, 2 ear plugs - still did not drown out the 12 hours of beating rain on the flimsy tin roof 4 feet above my ears.

Up at 7 - I went down to the creek to fetch some water, the chillens are still asleep, the neighbors are up and at em with an ice cold PBR and a pack of marlboro reds, and clark is wandering aRound with his blackberry trying to get reception for his conference call!

Thinking about a shower and deciding on using our own luxe 1 x 1 shower or following my neighbors down to the community shower which boasts to be one of the cleanest of all koa showers in these parts! I'm a bit intimidated because they all seem to have a routine and are carrying shower caddies. I have my Christian Dior robe and my Terry cloth cosmetic pouch
So many movies come to mind... City slickers...

DAY NUMBER ONE

Landed in rapid city south Dakota and picked up the RV. Was told by Clark that our first stop would be Wall Drug. any place that has the word drug in it has to be good.

Well then - no drugs not sure what the place is all about other than about 12 gift shops full of Western type trinkets and key chains and lots of other things with your name on it.

Went through the bad lands and what not and then off to the koa campsite ( we are now members). Kind of thought we'd " check in" " clean up" And head off to some cute little western "restaurant" for some " dinner"

Ummmmmmm said the koa lady - you are in the middle of nowhere - there are no restaurants or grocery stores. Okee dokee then " thankfully" the koa store has everything we need - hotdogs, buns and ketchup. No BOOZE! So I will have to make do (for tonight) with the 3 bottles I picked up at Wall Drug!

Making our "beds" now And then off to my ambien enduced sleep.

More tomorrow